I have two sons. Different dads. Different relationships. And not just co-parenting relationships. But, father/son relationships. Sometimes that puzzles me. Other times it humbles me. Both times I survive. But, my youngest son’s dad is very interesting to say the least. May I vent about that?

My youngest son is 12; soon to be 13. It is now 2021 and he has not physically seen his dad since 2018. Last year, I reached out to his dad because I wanted to get a passport for my son. Because my son is under the age of 16, both parents basically have to provide consent for the passport. His dad agreed to the passport…back in March 2020. It is now the end of June 2021 and I still don’t have his passport. I ended up getting an attorney to file for full custody in order for me to be able to get my son’s passport without his dad’s consent. I only did this because it’s been over a year since I initially asked him and he agreed to, but no progress. And, we had a planned family trip coming up. And mind you, I asked him several times over the past year, as well as sent him copies of the form needed…and still nothing. So, I just had to do what I had to do.

As mentioned earlier, we had a family trip planned for Jamaica earlier this month. However, me and my boys didn’t get a chance to go due to my younger son not having his passport. Now, his dad ended up signing and sending me the consent form a week before the trip, but it was too late. On top of that, a copy of his ID was needed along with the form, but he claimed he wasn’t comfortable with sending me the copy. Why? I don’t know. It’s not like I’m gonna pull up on him or something. He supposedly lives like 5 hours away from me. Who got time to make that kind of trip?! Not me! And for what?!! And, I’m not trying to bash dude at all right now, but if you were to talk to him or his wife about me, they would act like I constantly harass them and/or start shit with them. I DON’T EVEN FUCK WITH THESE PEOPLE!!! And, excuse the language, but I’m so confused with this whole situation right now!

Nonetheless, my son’s dad was served papers back in May and also last week I believe. Both times, he called our 12 year old son to talk to him about the papers. Court papers!! Not to check on him, but to talk about court documents. Prior to all of this, the communication between them was pretty much scarce. But, I digress about that. Today, my attorney sent me copies of this guy’s responses to them in regards to the documents sent to him. He basically said he was going to sign the papers, but wanted me to stop contacting him for good. Now, I can’t recall the last time I spoke with this guy over the phone. We emailed each other a few weeks back in regards to the consent form, but all of those emails were very cordial. He also stated that I was only trying to get my son’s passport only to “abandon him” with my mom and move to Jamaica. Now why would I want to get his passport, just to leave him here in America and not use the passport?! Can someone explain that to me. Because, I’m at a lost. That would be just a waste of time and money, in my opinion.

OH, I do want to mention that since we last emailed each other about the consent form, that he provided, I have not heard anything else from him directly. There has been no communication between us whatsoever. So, I am EXTREMELY confused and busting my brain as to how I’m being portrayed as the problem! I just don’t understand. I want my son to have a relationship with his dad. I want my son to spend time with his dad. However, I’m low-key scared for my son to be alone with his dad. I honestly don’t think he’s mentally stable. Hell, I’m starting to feel like I’m not mentally stable because I’m just so confused about the situation in whole. I honestly just don’t know what to do. I don’t even know what to feel about it anymore.

Again, I digress. Low-key. I rant my incomplete thoughts and drama in hopes of letting someone know that they’re not the only one dealing with craziness. Or, in hopes of someone enlightening me on how to manage through my craziness. Sometimes it just seems like the more at peace I try to be, the more something crazy pops up. I feel like I just can’t escape the craziness. But, I’m gonna keep trying. No matter how much THC I may need to intake. 😏😊

Until next time….

Love, Peace & Blessings 🙏🏽❤🖤💚