Becoming a parent for the first time can be very exciting, just as much as overwhelming. Parenting can bring you joy, confusion, happiness and sometimes pain. There’s no “real” manual on how to take care of a brand new little human being. It’s just a life long lesson of ups and downs, trails and errors and continual learning on the job. Being a parent can be either a gift or curse. And, I don’t mean curse by bringing another human being in the world. I mean having to deal with the other parent. Especially, if the parents are no longer in a relationship with each other. What do they call that? Co-parenting. Which is something foreign to a lot of parents who are no longer together.

I like to think that me and my oldest son’s dad have a pretty good co-parenting relationship. There’s no arguing, jealousy, hurt, spitefulness or anything like that. We keep each other inform about everything with our child; good, bad, ugly and the stupid. We may not agree all the time when it comes to discipline, but we’ll always compromise and find a balance between the two. We know each other’s strengths and weakness when it comes to our child. And, capitalize off that for the betterment of the child. We even cool with each other’s significant others relationship. Now no parenting, or co-parenting, relationship is perfect. But, ooh child, there’s some co-parenting relationships where it’ll make you feel like either someone should have swallowed or just faked the climax. Let me give you a snippet about 2 people I know, or know of.

The first is my youngest son’s dad. When I was pregnant, my son’s dad swore up and down of how great of a father he was going to be to his child, because he says the relationship with his own dad wasn’t the greatest. Nonetheless, approximately 2 years after our son was born, this dude started to trip out. So therefore, he pretty much went M.I.A; that means Missing In Action for those that don’t know. A few years ago, he said he was going to stop spending the time he was spending with his child because he felt like it wasn’t enough time to raise him as a man. And that’s where the buck stops. Sad thing is, dude acts and gives excuses like he’s a teen parent or something. As far as I’m concerned, he just a minimum wage child support provider. My son, who is 12, doesn’t really have any feelings or thoughts towards his dad. I always try to push him to call him, but he never wants to. He’s respectful if he ever talks with him, but that’s about it. It used to bother me a lot, because I wanted my son to have that relationship with his dad. But now, I’m way passed over it. And you know what’s crazy? The dad and his wife blames me for things that the dad’s not doing. And, that’s cool with me. Because at the end of the day, I’m like “Whatever. Do you, I got him.” Always and forever, nobody or nothing, is going to stop me from taking care of mine. Point, blank, period. It’s really sad that so called adults make so many excuses for either physically, and financially, not being in their child’s life.

Now, the other person is my husband’s baby mama. Man oh man; Another classic case of pure bitterness and spitefulness. I’m pretty sure you’ve heard or seen the stories before; i.e., Lifetime movies or some “black” movies. You know the ones where the female goes out her way to try to hurt the man or prevent the man from being with his child. I mean, if a person wants to be like that then I guess that’s cool. But, once they start using the child as a pawn, to mask their immaturity and stupidity, then that’s where the problem starts and lies. Why put an innocent child in the mix of adult drama? That will affect the child in the long run. And you know who always seem to get the unnecessary drama? The parent who tries to be the “All-Star” parent. But, this female here goes to immeasurable lengths to NOT have the father in the picture. Which doesn’t make any sense because she’s a dependent herself. And no, she’s not a minor. If a parent is doing their best to be involved and take care of the child, why try to destroy the other parent’s life to where they won’t be able to do just that? If you want help with the child, why spread lies and try to put the other parent in a position to where you won’t get the very help you claim you need? Especially if you’re a dependent yourself!! If the other parent is not doing for the child, just be like f**k them and do it yourself. But, if it’s the opposite, and they are doing for the child, be happy about it and work with them. #CoParenting. Because there’s so many “parents” out there that don’t do ANYTHING for their child. But, only an INdependent (I spelled that like I wanted) minded person will understand that.

Good co-parenting can help raise a child immensely. But, only if the parents are willing to put their bruised egos and feelings aside and do what’s best for the child. A lot a parents scream out how much they want the best for their child, yet they try to use that very child as bait for the total opposite. Or, try to instill their negative mindset into the child in order to make the other parent feel some type of way. It’s really sad. Some of those kids are really going to have some mental and emotional issues when they’re older. Especially, if the pointless drama doesn’t end. But, the parent that caused it is just going to blame the other parent for it. It seems like a never ending negative cycle. I guess for those in these type of situations can only hope for the best and prepare for the worst and keep it pushing. Life doesn’t stop because of foolish drama.

To do those that are dealing with similar situations or worse, don’t give in to the negative energy. Keep ya head up. Meditate. Pray. Do what is in the best interest of the child amidst the drama and negativity. Love always win over hate. Even when, and/or if, hate seems like it’s winning. Don’t give up and don’t give in.

Love, Peace and Blessings. ❤