*** WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE USE (that’s all) ***

It is 1:38pm, Friday, May 29th, 2020*. I am on my lunch break and I feel confused. I’m not sure what to do. I’m hungry, but don’t really have an appetite. I’m a little sleepy, but don’t want to take a nap. I want to workout, but don’t feel like moving. There’s so much going on in this country right now. So many thoughts running through my head. I can’t say that I’m surprised, because I’m not. I can’t say I’m sad, cause I’m not. I’m devastatingly sick. I’m pissed TF off!!! For those of you that don’t know what ‘TF’ means, it stands for, The Fuck (properly). I’m so tired of the bullshit. I’m tired of losing my voice to deaf ears and blind eyes. These mutha******s might not can see or hear, but they definitely can still feel. And, that’s exactly what we need to do. We need to make them feel what we’re protesting, yelling and marching about. Point, blank, period.

I wrote a previous post about when will things change or something like that. I’m not sure at this very moment. And, I’m not double checking, I’m just writing my pure unfiltered thoughts and emotions right now. But, when will things change?! When will it get better for Black/African-Americans in America?! When will the laws that said slaves shall be “free” and negros shall be “equal” go into effect?! Honestly, I don’t think the ways of America will ever change. Racism, will never end. You know why? Because America is comfortable with being comfortable. People are comfortable with being comfortable. And, people fear what they don’t know. So, we can protest and retaliate back all we want, but it’s not gonna change anything. We like things the way that we like them. And, then we shy away when something unfamiliar and uncomfortable comes along. But, you do know that with change comes discomfort, right? We have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. It’s like the struggles of going to college. You know why you’re going to college and what you’re expecting the outcome to be. But, to reach the outcome/reward of going to college can be hell. But the reward/outcome at the end is nice. So, why can’t we all just live in peace?! Why can’t we all just get along?! I’m tired of #blacklivesmatter, #sayhisname, #sayhername and many other hashtags. I’m tired of murders being caught on film, yet the murderers still walk free. I’m tired of evidence being stacked against murderers, without video, yet they still walk free. Zimmerman. I’m tired of “leaders” not using their “power” to fix these matters. I’m tired of innocent lives being taken without consequences or any type of regard. I’m tired of a country that’s fake as shit and don’t back up what it says. I’m tired…

I read a Facebook posts asking if it was just only black lives being murdered by the police? Or, are black lives just being exploited? Hellava good question/thought I think. Which one is it, America?! Because Blacks/African-Americans are not the only minorities that exist in the United States. Blacks/African-Americans are not the only minorities that are being killed by cops or people of other races than them. So, why us?! Why kidnap my ancestors, enslaved them, treat them like shit, separate families, kill them, just to then feel so inferior to them?! You scared of something?! What is it about us?! Blacks/African-Americans are the same people that helped raised your kids. The same people that kept you eating good. The same people who kept your homes cleaned. The same people that kept your crops growing. The same people to make you money; which you’re so obsessed with. The same people that took care of you when you were sick. The same people that helped you to exist. The same people that helped built this country you call The United States of America today. Why treat us like this?! Was all that not enough?! Why bite the hand that fed you? Hell, the hand that’s still feeding you today. Why us?! I’m sick of this.

How I’m feeling right now….. No more protesting. No more talking. No more understanding. Gotta give you what you can feel; that unspoken thing that makes you feel inferior to us… Literally. I’m done with your talk. I’m done with your lies. I’m done with ya fake ass smiles. I’m done with your games. I’m done with you. I’m done.

“We declare our right on this earth to be a man, to be a human being, to be respected as a human being, to be given the rights of a human being in this society, on this earth, in this day, which we intend to bring into existence by any means necessary.” — Malcolm X, 1965

*I wrote this post on my lunch break on the 29th, but didn’t post it until now.🤷🏽‍♀️